Thanks to all of you who stuck it out in the rain last night. I taked to at least twenty passer-bys that had no clue what was going on in Northern Uganda. I haven't seen anything on the news. I think that we are being eclipsed by the immigrant protest/walkout threatened tomorrow. Oh well.
Oh, strange but true:
Duct tape can rip off lip skin. Don't hold it in your mouth like you would normal tape. I answered questions for a group of curious people after ripping a chunk of skin off of my lips. I think it is both funny and sick. I asked for them to excuse my bleeding...they did.
Have a great day all.
4.30.2006
4.26.2006
More...
Recently the more I have looked at myself and actually pealed back the layers of my colloused past three years I am at the realization that I truly need a savior. I guess broken is a good miserable place to be. I can't stand how blind I have been. It continues to be painful to know that certain parables are directed right at me. he gives sight to the blind and I need it before I make bigger messes.
I am just blown away and the rain that we have been experienceing seems to be how conviction has hit me recently, hard. It refreshes, but leaves me cold. I have had a fog...a cloudy haze that smells like rain in my life and now I know why. I'd love a good cigar and I miss the peace... I know this is getting muddled.
This is where I so long to hear: "arise shine for the light of His glory shines now upon you." Redemption and conviction take different forms than I would expect...I need to work on my expectations. I am so happy that I can fall into a grace that forgives, but I need the courage to obey. Grace has a deep cost and I never want to cheapen it by my stupidity.
Hey all....Invisible Children on Oprah today at four. Watch it. We have a central location for the commute and security clearance to park. If you have questions give me a call or toss out a note.
I am just blown away and the rain that we have been experienceing seems to be how conviction has hit me recently, hard. It refreshes, but leaves me cold. I have had a fog...a cloudy haze that smells like rain in my life and now I know why. I'd love a good cigar and I miss the peace... I know this is getting muddled.
This is where I so long to hear: "arise shine for the light of His glory shines now upon you." Redemption and conviction take different forms than I would expect...I need to work on my expectations. I am so happy that I can fall into a grace that forgives, but I need the courage to obey. Grace has a deep cost and I never want to cheapen it by my stupidity.
Hey all....Invisible Children on Oprah today at four. Watch it. We have a central location for the commute and security clearance to park. If you have questions give me a call or toss out a note.
4.25.2006
B.O.
After working out there is always that question: "Do I stink, or did my deodorant work?" I think it is really funny that I can sniff around and try to find out who it is in my group that stinks. Sometimes I find out, in a horrific realization, that it is me. I am the stinker. Closely related to that. Sometimes we can't smell our own B.O. It's an odd phenomenon. It's an even more odd line of thought, but stick with me. We can recognize someone else's stench, but be completely oblivious to our own.
So a random thought... but in my mind this is where it leads. I think the B.O. of humanity is hypocrisy. It has a uniquely repulsive odor about it. We can recognize it anywhere. I really don't like having to deal with people suffering from it, but like my B.O. example, sometimes I smell a stench that I can't locate. Sometimes I even become oblivious to my own odor. Recently I have been such an oblivious hypocrite. Really rank and I had no idea how bad I was. Just like trying to keep genuinely interested in a conversation with someone that smells horribly, I also have an aversion to words, however true they are, spoken out of hyporisy. So often ,after a history of an action, it is almost impossible to get the scent impression out of your mind. Here is my confession of social B.O. I am not proud of...I can't be. I ask your forgiveness. I know you most likely won't be able to forget it. It scars the memory. But that's my stench and I am resposible for making you uncomfortable...
So a random thought... but in my mind this is where it leads. I think the B.O. of humanity is hypocrisy. It has a uniquely repulsive odor about it. We can recognize it anywhere. I really don't like having to deal with people suffering from it, but like my B.O. example, sometimes I smell a stench that I can't locate. Sometimes I even become oblivious to my own odor. Recently I have been such an oblivious hypocrite. Really rank and I had no idea how bad I was. Just like trying to keep genuinely interested in a conversation with someone that smells horribly, I also have an aversion to words, however true they are, spoken out of hyporisy. So often ,after a history of an action, it is almost impossible to get the scent impression out of your mind. Here is my confession of social B.O. I am not proud of...I can't be. I ask your forgiveness. I know you most likely won't be able to forget it. It scars the memory. But that's my stench and I am resposible for making you uncomfortable...
4.24.2006
Thought and Rocktown pics...of me...vanity....
"That is why the real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking the other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in."
-C.S. Lewis
-C.S. Lewis
4.20.2006
Invisible Children...
Last night's showing surprised me. I expected 200 people at best. We has closer to 500. It was amazing to see all that work come to fruition. The question always remains, "What now?" I have to get back to work... But thanks to all who came. You shocked me. Thanks also to Garren, Joe, Sarah, and Michelle. You guys were fun to get to know... good luck as you wrap things up.
4.17.2006
Doubting Thomas... and Faith... life.
"Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die
Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted ..."
So in this whole philosophy thing, I have always been terrified that what I have based my life around could be proven false. It's an interesting thing to feel at times that life is built around a house of cards that a single philosophical delima could bring it down. I guess I am now at the point that I am fairly confident in the reality of Christ. I have doubted and questioned and had so many fits to try and get my way. I have tried to prove it false for so long. It is quite ironic to try to disprove something when the one thing I want is for Christ to be truth. That reality would be too good for it to be true. Wouldn't it?
I have gotten used to not holding my breath. A while back I wrote that I had nothing to say, but that I wanted too. It was like a birthing process (although i am not sure how much I can own or appreciate the analogy). I have been dealing with Kant and Hegel in Modern and as many questions as they have raised which cause many theologians to hate them, I find some serious comfort in what they have said. Kant really helped to cement (or at least bring hope) to some issues I have had. In many ways he is a doubter's philosopher. I never wanted to be a clone or one of the faceless conservative mob. I have never liked a label. As many, I thought that acceptance of Christ means the rejection of an identity and the theft of personality.
I guess I can say that I have finally come to the place that God, in the reality of Christ, is an almost unquestionable reality. As I have said I wared against it for so long. I have attacked the weaknesses and come back defeated. It is a good place.
Now, instead of the loss of identity, Christ is actually the gaining of identity and the realization of personality for me. I have lived so long trying to please people or fit in. I have been lost in the futile attempt to be"like that". It hurts and is so painful to attempt. In Christ I have the freedom to be the more honest and sincere than anywhere else. It is not easy. So many causes and people vie for my heart, so many ideas wrestle for my mind. It all boils down to obedience faith and having the courage to act on both. In some ways it is a fight, an act of will, to overcome everything that screams, "NO!". But it is rewarding and freedom...and freedom is worth fighting for. The thought that I could, can , and have been used blows my mind.
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die
Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted ..."
So in this whole philosophy thing, I have always been terrified that what I have based my life around could be proven false. It's an interesting thing to feel at times that life is built around a house of cards that a single philosophical delima could bring it down. I guess I am now at the point that I am fairly confident in the reality of Christ. I have doubted and questioned and had so many fits to try and get my way. I have tried to prove it false for so long. It is quite ironic to try to disprove something when the one thing I want is for Christ to be truth. That reality would be too good for it to be true. Wouldn't it?
I have gotten used to not holding my breath. A while back I wrote that I had nothing to say, but that I wanted too. It was like a birthing process (although i am not sure how much I can own or appreciate the analogy). I have been dealing with Kant and Hegel in Modern and as many questions as they have raised which cause many theologians to hate them, I find some serious comfort in what they have said. Kant really helped to cement (or at least bring hope) to some issues I have had. In many ways he is a doubter's philosopher. I never wanted to be a clone or one of the faceless conservative mob. I have never liked a label. As many, I thought that acceptance of Christ means the rejection of an identity and the theft of personality.
I guess I can say that I have finally come to the place that God, in the reality of Christ, is an almost unquestionable reality. As I have said I wared against it for so long. I have attacked the weaknesses and come back defeated. It is a good place.
Now, instead of the loss of identity, Christ is actually the gaining of identity and the realization of personality for me. I have lived so long trying to please people or fit in. I have been lost in the futile attempt to be"like that". It hurts and is so painful to attempt. In Christ I have the freedom to be the more honest and sincere than anywhere else. It is not easy. So many causes and people vie for my heart, so many ideas wrestle for my mind. It all boils down to obedience faith and having the courage to act on both. In some ways it is a fight, an act of will, to overcome everything that screams, "NO!". But it is rewarding and freedom...and freedom is worth fighting for. The thought that I could, can , and have been used blows my mind.
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