"I can see now I never really committed... I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments. " (High Fidelity)

I find it interesting how often commitment has been a dirty word to me. I like having control. I'll be honest. I like to be in control, but I don't want the responsibility when the blame is getting dished out. I like to live vicariously thorugh people and organize their actions and watch the success. Then i become frustrated because it is my idea that is getting someont else credit. Well, that is some real insecurity isn't it?

Things are changing for me. I am tired of being passive, and there are some things in life that you cannot just sit on someone else's coat-tails for. Good gets in the way of the best. Pain happens too. People say that nothing of value comes for free or doesn't have a price that must be paid. In the midst of calls to "settle" and to "just accept things", I can't help but think that that is wrong.

While I am not quite certain where I supposed to be, God has been revealing some new passions that I did not know I had. Regardless of where I am headed, I can't help but feel that God never calls us to settle! He calls us to FOLLOW. Paul shows a zeal to keeep moving forward. There are many examples, but one of the most clear for me is in Philippians:

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I guess being a (former) athlete brings this into perspective. So often I wanted to quit. When I hurt I wanted to give up so badly. If I give up I become less than mediocre.

To commit...