Philosophy...

Nine hours of philosophy this semester makes me very aware of a few things. One. I tend to be shallow and partial to how I look at the world. Two. I bit off more than I can chew well. And three. So much of life is a reaction. Reactions of the mind against things that move us. So many great thinkers stumbled into their beliefs because of how passionately they were struck, both possitively and negatively, by the actions or assertions of another. Hobbes to Descartes. Spinoza to Hobbes and Descartes. Etc. This reactionary attitude dwells in the depths of my heart and mind. Often to my detriment. I have hated the church for so long. Everything about the lies lived by members makes me hurt and deeply saddened by how I know it is supposed to be different. I have run in so many simple ways from that "institution" failling to see that the institution is not the Church. The irony is that I condemn it for being fake, for not loving, for not being Christ, for not taking action and for walking the other side of the road when an untouchable is in need. These traits are mine as well. People like to use this quote often, "The Church is a whore, but she is my mother." Augustine had it right there, but I too am a whore as well. Intellectually I stand pointing a finger at the church. Yet, I have become terrified that I will start to serve the intellect more the the one that made the thought possible. It starts small. Then I am left with the biggest ego. So proud. Certainly there are many things wrong with the church, but I have been attempting to stone it so often, when i am the one caught in adultery. Thankfully I just need to open my ears and hear "neither do I condemn you." More later...